How Many Christians Does it Take to Change a Light Bulb?

PB UMC celebrates Bright Sunday the week after Easter. We rejoice in Christ's resurrection; we are downright giddy about it! We enjoy the freedom to laugh at ourselves. Our joy sometimes overflows into some rather irreverent humor...

How Many Christians Does it Take to Change a Light Bulb?

Charismatics: Only one; Hands are already in the air.

Pentecostals: Ten; One to change the bulb and nine to pray against the spirit of the dark.

Presbyterians: None; Lights will go one and off at predestined times.

Roman Catholic: None; Candles only.

Baptists: At least fifteen; One to change the light bulb and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad.

Episcopalians: Eight; One to call the electrician and seven to say how much they liked the old one better.

Unitarians: We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, that is fine with us. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for the Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.

Nazarene: Six; One woman to replace the bulb while five men review the church lighting policy.

Lutherans: None; Lutherans don’t believe in change.

Amish: What’s a light bulb?

Methodist: Undetermined. Whether your light is bright, dull or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, a turnip bulb or a tulip bulb. Church-wide lighting service is planned for Sunday. Bring the bulb of your choice and a covered dish.